


Poking the edge of my thumbnail into the lock, I jiggle the handle until I hear the tumblers click. In this case, I might be able to fix it myself. Either Heinrich fixes what breaks, or we just live with it. We’ve long since learned not to bother trying to call our landlord. Everything in this house is so decrepit that the shower, the furnace, the outlets, and the stove are constantly going on the fritz. In my sleep-befuddled brain, all I can think is that accidentally I locked it on my way out, or the handle is broken. “What the fuck,” I mutter, turning it again. It slips through my hand, stiff and unyielding. I grasp the ancient brass handle and give it a twist. My body is so obliterated that the thought of my mattress and pillow has become intensely erotic.

I might need to sleep more than a couple of hours. I can barely haul myself up the next two flights of steps to my attic room. It’s so early that I don’t hear a single person creaking around on the upper floors. I’m floating up the sagging steps to the row house. I wonder what he’ll do if I slowly strip off my clothes while I’m working. Knowing that he watches me on that studio camera gives me a perverse thrill. “I’ll definitely see you,” Cole says, a hint of a smile on his lips. “I’ll see you later,” I say, breathlessly. Layered together like sediment, like cake. His scent clings to my clothes: steel shavings, machine oil, cold Riesling, expensive cologne. He kisses me, deep and warm, with just a hint of a bite as his teeth catch my lower lip, before releasing me. “Wait,” Cole says, grabbing me by the back of the neck and pulling me back inside instead. I touch the handle of the door, planning to climb out. whatever that was,” I say, half smiling, half blushing. He pulls up to the curb, flipping the car around so I can exit on the passenger side. I don’t know if it’s strong enough to bear weight just yet. The intimacy between us is fragile but real, like a thin rim of ice across a lake. I’m planning to catch a couple hours’ sleep, then head over to the studio to work. Cole drives me home early in the morning.
